Would you date a married man?

Would you date a married man?

I was a little reluctant to write this blog post as it's quite a controversial subject, and I have to admit I've come home and poured myself a large glass of wine just so that I'd get on with it. It important to me that in this blog as a whole, I write about real things that are happening in my own life .. so here I am telling you how I ended up on a date with a married man.

Now I've been single for quite some time... which really suits me. I love my own company, I can hang out on my own and I don't worry about ending up alone. I'm 25 years old with a very busy life, an every growing career, the foundations of a great business, a packed gym schedule and plenty of friends to fill my time with.... there just isn't the room for men! That being said, if a seemingly nice guy asks me out for lunch... I'm in!!

I love the idea of chatting over a pizza, discovering new things in new people is very exciting. I'm not a shy person and will express my true self to anyone willing to listen. So after meeting somebody through friends at a club I attend and talking over social media it felt completely natural to accept his invitation to lunch, and get to know each other in person.

I'll just set one thing straight - I did not, and do not fancy this guy (although he most definitely fancies himself). I enjoy people. I think the best way to learn about yourself is to get to know other people, when you listen to other peoples stories and tell them your own, I believe it confirms your own thoughts and feelings about life and the things you do - and this can only be a good thing.

So this is how it went.... Mr.Z happened to have the same day off in the week as I, so casually asked me to lunch. Over email he flirted (at least I thought it was flirting) and referred to our 'date' - I'll also mention here that I have most definitely seen his picture on a dating website (yep I'm on tinder - I told you I like meeting people). So I had no reason to believe he was anything other than single, unattached and available.

After 5 or so minutes into our first meeting outside of the usual club, he mentioned his WIFE - I nearly chocked - His wife!!!! What the hell? He acts so single. What's he doing here with me? Does his wife know he meets girls for lunch on random Wednesdays? I'll bet my first locum pay packet she doesn't!!

As I tried to hide my shock & horror I felt an overwhelming wave of embarrassment. How could I be so conceited as to think this guy wanted to date me? He wants a mate, not a date! I didn't know what to say or do.

As our meeting/date/lunch with a friend went on I felt ever more confused... He made references to affairs, he commented on his and his wife's dislike for one another, complimented me at every opportunity and even suggested a weekend away!!?!! This is not appropriate from any man in holy matrimony. What was he trying to achieve (there I'm being conceited again).

I'd like to defend myself at this point, in case it isn't obvious - I had no idea this man was married.
Being a single girl with lots of male friends, I've experienced negative actions from girlfriends in the past. But I am not a home wrecker, Married me are not my thing! We've all seen the glamorous 'other woman' in the movies, but personally, I've seen it from friends and family alike and it's not something I'd ever want to be involved with - the other woman is always second best. After speaking to some friends about this it was even suggested that I contact this sleaze bags wife... but I wouldn't be able to live with the consequences.

I always struggle to conclude these posts and this one even more so, I could go on all night on the subject of trust in relationships. But husbands please.... If you could put half as much effort into making your wife happy and upholding a healthy marriage, as you do in finding any old girl to mess around with and seek attention from, I'm sure the world would be a better place.

It's safe to say my faith in men has plummeted to an all time low.  So I could not be happier to say my 'Man Ban' reigns on.

Feel free to comment on anything I've said today - your responses are most welcome!!

Have a great week everyone- lots of love Steph x